I’ve tried to do Vision Quests twice before. Both attempts were several years ago, and I didn’t finish either one of them. In one attempt, I tried to trick myself into finishing it by having someone drop me off out in the middle of the desert with too much stuff to carry home by myself. By the time it started to get dark, I was so jacked up with anxiety, that I managed to tie it all up into a manty that I could drag along behind me to the road and hitchhiked home. I still don’t know quite why I was so scared that it was less scary to hitchhike through the desert in the dark than just stay put. That was ten years ago.
So I read a post over at a great new blog, Living In A Van Down By The River, about how he started preparing for a vision quest, and it wasn’t like he just dove in and did it one day. He practiced fasting first, and did one-day deals, and generally worked up to it. This makes good sense to me.
That post particularly resonated with me, because I had just had a dream where Ingwe had told me that I needed to do a 24-hour vision quest. I was to have a small fire, and plenty of water, but no food and no sleep.
And that dream particularly resonated with me because I had just met someone who was studying dreams, and we had spent a fair amount of time analyzing dreams and talking about dream journals.
So it really seemed like there was a pattern establishing itself here, and so today I am heading out into the woods in my back yard for 24 hours. I have a firepit and firewood all ready, plenty of water, and stuff to stay warm. It’s supposed to be down in the 40’s tonight, and rainy. My intention isn’t to make myself miserable, so I have hand and footwarmers to put in my sleeping bag, and I intend to stay warm and dry. Hopefully, I’m not so warm and dry that I have a hard time staying awake, but I’ve decided not to be too hard on myself if I have a little naptime. This is kindergarten after all. I’ll try my best to stay awake all night, but if I doze off, the dying fire will soon make me cold enough to wake me up again. And if I actually do sleep through the night, that in itself will be an amazing breakthrough, as I haven’t ever yet slept outside without waking up freezing at some point in the night, even in the summer.
I’ll be down there until about noon Friday. Send me your good thoughts.