Deciding to leave this place feels a little bit like breaking up with a lover. Even if you know that it’s the right thing to do, and the right time to do it, there are still so many small things that are heartbreaking to say goodbye to. The way that you are struck one morning by the fact that you will never see their toothbrush again, or that plan you had always had to travel to South America together when you got old, or that you can’t share this really fabulous tomato with them.
There are so many little things that I’m saying goodbye to here. Even though I feel good about the decision to move to Olympia, I’m sad to say goodbye to my little tomato patch, and to all my grandiose plans for a real garden next year. My little writing studio/bedroom with the little white stove that kept it always too hot or too cold and the bats in the roof will be sorely missed. I won’t be here for the snowfall this winter to track the skunks and coyotes and bobcats that I saw during the snows last winter. I won’t get another chance to really for real this time harvest all the blackberries and preserve them. I will never see the black bear that is rumoured to live around here. I won’t convince the song sparrow in the back yard to eat out of my hand, nor the skunks either. I won’t get to see the first snow fall on Mt. St. Helens from my deck, and I won’t enjoy my morning cup of coffee while watching the mountain steam. I won’t ever learn exactly what sort of fir trees those are that line the driveway. I won’t get to do a 24-hour sit once a month in the hemlock grove down the hill.
There are a lot of things I’m looking forwad to about being in Olympia, but I’m glad that i have 6 weeks or so, because it will take me at least that long to say goodbye to everything here.